Ever have those days when you feel like you're just not enough? I'd like to say I am asking for a friend, but I'm not (sigh).
Today was one of those days. And it wasn't just that I didn't feel enough, it was more of a cold, hard fact that I wasn't enough.
I didn't have enough grace for my daughter when she did something wrong. I didn't have enough self control when my temper flared. I didn't have enough time (or good enough time management skills) to complete the several dozen items on my to-do list. I didn't have enough money in my account when I sat down to pay the bills. I didn't have enough faith to keep the worry and the tears from coming out like an angry flood. I didn't have enough love or humility to keep from thinking petty, jealous thoughts when I read of someone else's success - someone I thought didn't deserve it, at least, not as much as I do.
All in all, it was one of those days where you get to the end and you're pretty much disgusted with yourself. Anyone know what I am talking about?? Please say "yes".
There is snow falling outside my window right now - pure, white, sparkling snow. It is making this barren, early December world look beautiful in the moonlight. And you know what I hear God whisper to me as I sit here in the half dark after everyone in my house has gone to sleep?
I'm with you to cover over your not enough. That's why I came.
That's what Christmas is all about. The best gift we could ever have and the only gift we truly need - Emmanuel, God with us.
God with us, in our lack. God with us, in our sin. God with us, in our failures. God with us, in our fears. God with us, in our loneliness. God with us, when we are in over our heads. God with us, when we don't know the next step. God with us, in our tears. God with us, in our doubt. God with us, in our aching questions of "why?" God with us when we have let others down. God with us when we have nothing left to give.
And like the snow that oh-so-gently covers over the bare branches of the winter trees, Emmanuel covers over our broken not-enough. The perfect picture of grace. The perfect gift of His presence, given even though we don't deserve it. It is His gift to give and He gives it to us. To me. To you.
And when we believe the reminder whispered to our soul, that Emmanuel came to be with us - and to make His home within us - that heavy burden we carry of whatever our "not-enough" might be, is lifted off our shoulders and placed onto His.
And we can breathe deep, knowing that God with us is MORE than enough.
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